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Tired of all the hype? We're burning Fossil fuels. Smoke stacks are dumping CO₂ into the air. We're polluting the Earth causing global warming and melting the ice caps.  Yeah, yeah, we know. Sea levels are rising and every five minutes some other stupid species is becoming endangered or going extinct . Yeah, OK, you've heard it all before but really, what are you supposed to do about it? Does Al Gore really expect you to take time out from your busy schedule, downloading videos, texting friends, and sleeping late? Are you supposed to single-handedly rescue some drowning polar bear? And how can you reduce your carbon footprint when you don't even know what a carbon footprint is? Did you ever feel like saying 'Hey, Al. I'm just a kid. Get off my case!'

 Well the Captain hears you and now, for the first time he's got the answer! Just try his.........................................

Genuine Captain Earth Science Carbon (fiber) Footprints! They serve no purpose (at least none that we can think of) but let's face it, they're cool. Made of highly polymerized carbon¹² taken directly from the Earth's own atmosphere, each footprint sequesters as much CO₂ as a  1986 Buick LeSabre emits in an hour and a half. And best of all they're completely non-biodegradable. They'll keep that carbon locked up long after Ed Begley Jr. is worm food.

So the next time some tree-hugging moron tries to make you feel guilty about your carbon footprint just whip out a real Captain Earth Science footprint and whup him upside his environmentally-friendly head.  

Just $19.99 plus S & H