Tough luck kids. Just when you were about to be old enough to fly to Cancun for spring break and do all sorts of other neat 'grown-up' stuff along comes the end of the world! Too bad! It's gonna be a real nasty mess and there's not much you can do, right?

WRONG! Thanks to Captain Earth Science and the good folks at Good Hands Insurance you can be the first kid on the block to be fully indemnified against apocalypses, holocausts, catastrophies, total devastation, cataclysms, and 9 different varieties of complete annihilation .

Maybe it's all hype but why take a chance?

   Act now and you'll receive our Captain Earth Science Total Protection Package which covers you against the loss of all clothing, footwear, electronics, software, games, CDs, DVDs, downloaded music (legal or otherwise), sports equipment (except bowling), cellphones, BlackBerries, and TVs (up to 70 inches).  
       In a world where everyone and everything is insured why should you be the only one left out in the cold. Insure your future. Protect your lifestyle.
       But wait! There's more! Call in the next ten minutes and we'll send you a lifetime supply of Sham Wows to help clean up the mess. Believe us kids, you're gonna need 'em!